Blind Q&A: Interactions with the Blind

Hello Readers,

Welcome back to the lovely world of Blind Q&A. In this post, my lovely participants and I discuss some tips and tricks for interacting with the blind. I received quite a few questions on this topic and as always, my volunteers had some interesting and helpful answers.

Q: Is it ok to make blind jokes with blind people?

*Swatha N: If you know the person well and you know they’ll understand it’s a joke, then go right ahead. However, I would advise you not to do that with random strangers. You won’t know how comfortable they are with their vision loss or if they would find it offensive.

*Michael H: Generally, I’d recommend not making jokes about blindness (or any other disability/experience you haven’t had, for that matter) unless you are absolutely sure the person would find it funny, but please do laugh if a blind person makes a blind joke!  I personally use humor to put people at ease, and one of the things I like to do is help people be as comfortable as possible with my blindness.

*Raven W: I absolutely love a good blind joke, so I say yes. Just be cautious if you don’t know the person well. Not everyone enjoys them. You can normally take your cues from them. If they crack a blind joke, then you are free to do the same.

*Leena K: Yes! That’s all I need to say, but since this question is being asked… I find blind jokes funny as long as they do not insult the intelligence of the blind.

Q: As a potential housemate, what are some things I should be aware of when having a blind housemate?

*Raven W: Let us know when you’re going to move things. It can be a struggle when you flop onto a couch that no longer is on that side of the living room.

*Swatha N: Treat them like you would a regular roommate. Don’t be overbearing or overprotective, keep open channels of communication, make sure you help them when they need help and accept it when they tell you they got it.

*Michael H: The most important thing to remember when living with a blind person is that we can do most things that sighted people can—we just do them differently.  We can cook; we can clean; we can do our own laundry, etc.  We just do things differently.  In terms of more practical actions, please don’t leave things in the way where we could trip on them.  On a similar note, please don’t move our stuff unless you have to, and please tell us if you do.  We understand that it might be necessary to move our belongings when cleaning, or if they’re in the way, etc.; please just tell us if you do this, so we know where to find our stuff when we want it.

*Leena K: Do not move items around. I find it much easier when things are in their place because then I won’t have to ask you to find things.

Q: Is there any easy way to tell someone who is blind about an aesthetic mishap (shirt inside out, something in teeth, bra showing, etc.)?

*Swatha N: Tell it like you would anyone else. Don’t make it sound like you’re pitying them, but definitely tell them.

*Raven W: Tell us as soon as possible. Of course, don’t shout it to the rooftops, but we’d like to know if something funky’s going on with our style.

*Michael H: Yes! You might say something like, “I don’t know if you know already, but your shirt is on inside out.”  It’s neutral and to the point; it doesn’t assume anything (“I don’t know if you know already,”); and it doesn’t call attention to the fact that the blind person can’t see whatever it is you’re pointing out to them.  Telling us about aesthetic mishaps is one of the most helpful things you can do for us, and we will greatly appreciate you for it—even though it might be uncomfortable for us to hear at the time.

*Leena K: Just say it. Please! We don’t to go outside looking unpresentable. I’m not a fan of stereotypes, and I wouldn’t want people to have them about me more than they already do.

Q: What are the most irritating things sighted people do around blind people (List top 5 if possible)?

*Leena K:

#1. Speak to sighted companions about blind people

#2. Grab the blind person without warning (even if it’s in the attempt to help).

#3. Assume we need help rather than asking.

#4. Don’t hire us for jobs because of our blindness.

#5. Believe they know what life is like when they put on a blindfold for a few minutes. They don’t.

*Raven W:

#1. Purposely distracting my guide dogs: Don’t do it! Teasing a working dog with food, toys, or attention while they’re working is not only a jerk move, but it can put the handler in danger.

#2. Letting doors slam on me: If you see me with a dog in my left hand and 20 things in my right, please take five seconds out of your day and hold the door.

#3. Running from my dog: I understand if you’re afraid of dogs, but please don’t run. Most of the time, the dog will think you’re playing and will want to play too.

#4. Only helping halfway: If you don’t want to help, then don’t. It’s fine, and I won’t be too bitter about it, but don’t help part of the way and then leave me hanging.

#5. Putting limits on what I can do: I’ve been blind a lot longer than most people have probably known me. I am totally aware of what I can and can’t do. I will let you know if there is something I am unable to do, but don’t make that assumption for me.

*Michael H:

#5. Not asking questions.  I know my blindness makes people somewhat uneasy, simply because sighted people don’t have any firsthand experience with it.  But you don’t know what you don’t know, and you won’t learn unless you ask.  If you’re worried about offending me with questions you have, you might try leading in by saying something like, “I have some questions, but I really don’t want to offend you.  If you don’t feel comfortable answering, please tell me and I’ll understand.”  If I don’t want to answer a question, don’t worry, I won’t.

#4. Being “politically correct” about blindness.  Blind people aren’t “visually challenged,” or “hard of seeing.”  We’re blind.  Please, just call it what it is and get comfortable with it.

#3. Avoiding using words like “see,” “sight,” etc. in conversation.  Words like “see” imply more than just the physical use of one’s eyes; I tell my friends that I’ll see them later, and I ask my friends if they see what I mean when I’m explaining my perspective in a discussion.  As an example, it would be awkward for a blind person to ask someone, “Want to go hear a movie?”

#2. Assuming that because other blind people you know/have seen can do something, that I can do it too/as well as other blind people.  No two people are the same, and this applies equally as much for blind people.  There are things that all my friends can do that I cannot, and that’s embarrassing enough without you telling me I should be able to do something because so-and-so can do it so well.

#1. Assuming you know my needs and what would help me better than I do.  Blindness is rather misunderstood, in that sighted people think we need assistance with very basic things that, in all likelihood, we’ve already figured out solutions to a long time ago.  I sometimes see products/apps for blind people hit the market and think to myself, “That’s a solution in search of a problem.”  If you want to help, please just ask us what we need instead of assuming; and if we tell you we don’t need help with whatever it is you’re offering, please take us at our word and don’t be offended.

*Swatha N: These are not in any order, but things I’ve encountered in my life.

#. Avoiding words like look, see, watch, etc.

#. Apologizing when I tell them I can’t see.

#. Grabbing my arm and attempting to steer me somewhere.

Q: What tips would you give a sighted person who has never interacted with a blind or visually impaired person?

*Raven W: Treat us like you would anyone else. Blindness doesn’t mean weak or inhuman. We laugh, we cry, and we get angry. We have goals and dreams that are not different from yours.

*Leena K: Treat us like normal people instead of foreign object that might break.

have interests, feelings, hopes, and dreams; and chances are, they’re more similar to yours than you might initially think.

*Swatha N: Treat them like a regular person. The blind are people too.

Thank you so much for reading. You can expect the last post of the series to come out by the middle of next week at the latest. 

Return From A Long Hiatus

Dear lovely readers,

I want to first apologize for the extremely long hiatus that I have been on. This summer has been such a crazy, hectic one that you will hear all about in a future post. There are a few important details that I need to cover in this post, so let’s get started

#1. The Blog Series

                I have not forgotten about the Q&A series. There are still more posts to come, and I will try to get them posted as soon as I possibly can. Please watch for those updates.

#2. The Contest

                Unfortunately, very few people participated in the contest, and so there were no winners. There might be another contest in the future, but until then, keep spreading the word about the blog.

#3. Back-to-school

                We have reached the lovely time of year where summer is winding down and millions of people are returning to the classroom. Keep your eyes peeled for some back-to-school content coming your way.

                That’s all for now. You can expect content from me as early as the end of this week.

NEW CONTEST: #Share&Win

Hello, lovely readers,

Sadly, this is not the next installment of the “Blind Q&A” series. That will be up a little later in the week. However, this is an announcement of a fun little contest for the blog. Read below to find out how one of you lucky readers can be entered for a chance to win a $30 gift card to Walmart.

            This blog wouldn’t be possible without the support and encouragement of its readers. To say thank you and encourage others to be a part of this, “Unlit: A Multiblog” is hosting a contest called “Share&Win.” Each day starting now and ending on June 29^th, , a person can earn entries to win a Walmart gift card. Read below for the ways in which you can earn entries

#. Liking the “Unlit: a Multiblog’s” Facebook page will get you one entry (you can only do this once)

#. Sharing the “Unlit: A Multiblog’s” Facebook page will get you 1 entry. If you post with the hashtag #Share&Win, that will bump it up to 2 entries. (this can be done once per day)

# Joining the "unlit: a multiblog's google+ cummunity (which you will find on the facebook page) will gain you one entry (this can be done once)

# Participating in the discussions on the google+ community will get you up to three entries (this can be done once per day)

#. Commenting on a blog post with thoughtful, constructive content will get you three entries (this can be done once per day)

#. Subscribing to the blog for email alerts will get you four entries (this can only be done once)

#. Sharing the blog itself with the hashtag #Share&Win will get you two entries (this can be done once per day)

Winners will be announced on the “Unlit: A Multiblog’s” Facebook page no later than July 1, 2017. You must provide your email in a private message to the page to claim your gift card code. You have a week from the announcement date to claim your prize. If you do not, another winner will be selected.

PLEASE NOTE THAT THE EGIFT CARD IS ONLY REDEEMABLE ON WALMART.COM AND SAMSCLUB.COM. THEY CANNOT BE REDEEMED IN-STORE!!!!

I wish all of you the best of luck in this contest, and please keep a look out for another post coming shortly.

Blind Q&A: Travel Technique

Hello, dear readers,

 

I want to apologize for the late posting of this. I wanted to ensure that you received the best content, and so it took a little longer than expected. However, as promised, here is the first installment of “Blind Q&A.”

            In this installment, my lovely volunteers and I will be discussing some of our travel techniques.

Q. Why do some people use a cane and others a guide dog? What are some advantages and disadvantages of both?

*Swatha N: It’s based mostly on preference. I like using a cane because I like knowing exactly what is in front of me and I like finding obstacles with it.

*Leena K: Some people use canes because they’d rather not have the responsibility of having to take care of another living thing’s needs. Some feel they do well with a cane and don’t need to change. Some use dogs because they veer while using canes, so they want extra help from a guide dog to keep them going straight. Others like the companionship of having a guide Dog. Having used both, I can definitely speak to this. A cane gives you more information about the specific items around you like chairs and poles. With a guide dog, you go around the obstacles. It’s a smoother walk, but it doesn’t provide specific information so finding landmarks like trash cans or poles is not quite as easy.

*Raven W: Mostly it’s because that is what the cane or dog user is more comfortable with. Canes are considered less of a hassle because you can fold it up or toss it in a corner when it’s not in use. Dogs require more space and care. I use both a cane and a dog. I personally like using a dog better because I feel safer and more independent, but there are times where a cane is better for certain situations.

*Michael H: I love guide dogs and plan on getting one in the future, but they are not for everyone.  Besides the obvious necessity to be able to care for the dog, guide dog owners must have very good independent travel skills.  The dog will lead you safely, but you have to know where you want to go and how to get there.  Guide dogs can’t read street signs or traffic signals; they just help lead a blind person through their environment safely.

Q. How often do you guys get lost?

*Michael H: Much more often than we would like, but much less often than you would expect.  Usually, it isn’t that we don’t know where we want to go or how to get there; we’ve just misinterpreted (or missed altogether!) some environmental cue, causing us to misjudge where we are and/or what to do next.

*Leena K: It depends on where I am. In familiar areas where I’ve learned routes, it’s extremely rare. When I’m learning, all the time.

*Raven W: It really depends. Factors like weather conditions and loud noises can really mess with a blind person’s sense of orientation. I will say that a lot of the travel skills I have, I’ve gained from being lost and problem-solving my way to my destination.

 

Please stay watchful for the next installment of this Miniseries.

Blind Q&A: An Introduction

Hello, dear readers,

Over the next week or two “Unlit: A Multiblog” will be running a miniseries known as “Blind Q&A.” Each post in this series will highlight burning questions sent in by anonymous readers about blindness. I, along with several other blind and visually impaired volunteers, will provide our answers to these questions. These answers don’t establish any of us as spokespersons for the blind. The experience of blindness is not the same for everyone and someone might have a completely different answer than what is expressed in this series. However, I chose to request volunteers to answer these questions in order to represent a small sample of the diversity of blindness.

            The idea of a post like this came to mind because of how little people know about blindness, or disability in general. It’s been made such a taboo subject that many people are afraid to ask about it and end up believing false information. This creates a huge gap of misunderstanding and leads to discrimination. I have crafted this series in the hopes that my audience will become somewhat informed about how to interact with someone who is blind.

            I would like to sincerely thank Leena K, Swatha N, and Michael H for theira contributions to this series. You can expect the first post of the series on Nonday, May 22, 2017.

Survival of the Cutest: A Miniguide to Dating

            I’ll come clean right now before we get any farther in the post. I have never been on an actual date. The closest I have ever came involved me, my boyfriend at the time, my friend, her boyfriend at the time, and a bag of Cheetos stuck in a tree. Now, do the math, dear readers. However, that doesn’t mean that I have no idea what I’m talking about. I have a small collection of knowledge about interacting with people in a date-like setting, even though we might not actually have been on a date. In this post, I hope to go over some things that might help to put dating participants at ease while on their date.

            Firstly, you want to make sure you get as many details about the date as possible beforehand. Where are you going? What time are you getting picked up/picking up/meeting? Whose paying for the date? If you’re a worrier like me, then not knowing these important details might send you into a panic. Your date is already going to be fueled with nervous energy from both participants, so no need to add to it unnecessarily. Exchange numbers so that you can let each other know of any changing plans.

            Next, you want to have your date in an environment where you’re comfortable, but that also allows for you to get to know your date in an intimate fashion. This is something you’ll want to talk over with your date as you are in the planning stages. If eating in front of crushes makes you anxious then maybe going out to dinner isn’t the best idea. However, a movie, which limits conversation, may not be the best bet either. Go for things that you both might enjoy. For this very reason, you should try to keep the location as simple as possible. A night of bowling, a trip to the skating rink, a walk in the park or a meal at a nice, inexpensive restaurant are just a few of the many options for an enjoyable dating experience.

            Lastly, be honest with your date. Having open, honest interactions in the beginning is a good precursor to where ever the participants want the relationship to lead. I know it’s difficult, but open yourself up. Tell your date things about yourself that you feel they should know. Tell them your likes and dislikes, your dreams and fears. This could very well be the thing that breaks the ice and leads to a second date and so on.  

            Despite my lack of hands-on dating experience, I know how difficult it can be. While I don’t claim that these steps are the recipe for a perfect date, nor am I claiming that these are the only things that matter, these steps are important and can help to make a date worthwhile.

Conductivity: How to Fill Your Summer with Meaningful Connections

Hey Guys!

So I realize it's been so long since I've last updated my blog.  ADMITTEDLY, college has been kicking my butt for the past few months, but that's all over now (at least for the time being).  I am officially done with Spring 2017 classes, and I have a little more time on my hands to get things written.

Speaking of summer break, a lot of you will be heading out of your schools for the summer.  That means a little over two months of free time.  At a distance, this can seem excited and like you've entered paradise, but once you discover that  those months are ones of emptiness and boredom, the stress can get to you.  There are several tips and tricks for staving off boredom, but this post is going to focus on one: building connections.

Transitioning from an environment where your friends lived down the hall to one where you have old friends who you haven't seen in a while can be difficult.  Your old friendships can easily be complicated  by the time you've spent apart and the transformative nature of college life.  It's easy to feel isolated because of this.  That is why building connections are super useful.  There are several different ways you can build connections with the people outside of your college gang.  You can reconnect with old friends, meet new people in your hometown, or take the long months to focus on virtual relationships.

Reconnecting with old friends can be a daunting task, but it can be done.  You'll first need to get reacquainted with them.  All of you have changed, and therefore, won't think or act the same way as you did before college.  Getting a firm footing and assessing whether your new personalities are compatible enough for a friendship is the first step.

Next, you need to start hanging   out as often as you can.  Do things that you do with your college friends, and let your old friends do the same.  Do some of your old favorites as well because that will help bring back that connection.

If rekindling old friendships isn't working for you or you want to have more friends, then meeting new people in your hometown is a great way to connect.  If you have a job or volunteer opportunity, network with your coworkers.  Find out what they do with their free time and ask if you could tag along sometime.  If you don't have a job, put yourself out there.  Go to places in town where you are more likely to meet people.  Strike up conversations with people on buses, trains, or in coffee stops.  Rediscover your town and the people in it.

If either of these options don't cut it for you, you can have a virtual connection with someone online.  This doesn't imply that you have to online date (though you certainly could if you wanted to).  Plenty of people make new friends on the internet.  This works best if you want to connect with someone in a different area of the country or world.  First, you want to find a legitimate web site that facilitates safe online interactions.  Sites and apps like Facebook and Whatsapp are good examples.  Next, you want to find someone with a few things in common with you.  Start out with messaging each other with photos at intermittent points throughout this interaction.  Don't send them any compromising photos, also don't photoshop yourself.  Just give the other person a clear picture of who you are.  Once you become comfortable you can use audio or video chatting services to communicate.  This friendship may or may not lead to an in-person meeting, but that doesn't devalue the human connection you have made.

So instead of flopping on the couch and groaning about how you have nothing to do and no one to do it with, work hard to connect with people.  Making new friends is something that can make those long summer months speed past in a blur of fun.  However, the effects are much more long-lasting.  Not only is human interaction good for your personal life and mental health, but it can lead to the development of useful professional skills and even employment opportunities to better yourself in regards to your career.